School years are ending, graduations are “in the air,” and we are poised to embrace another summer with new beginnings. Many are experiencing anticipation, and some are experiencing concern as they may be facing the first Father’s Day and summer activities in the absence of their father. Father’s Day is often second to Mother’s Day in our society, yet with a dad’s death, it may be a difficult time for families experiencing childhood grief.
My reflections of my Dad stir up memories of BBQ grilling, time by the water, family gatherings with plenty of singing, ties, and golf balls for presents, and the warm touch of my father’s hands when I was still small enough to place mine in his, which were seemingly large enough to hold all troubles of the world.
I am a “Daddy’s Girl,” and as the youngest of five in an Irish Catholic family, the connection I feel to my father outlives his death. My father died just before the onset of the pandemic, leaving my heart broken in some ways, yet still feeling a closeness in the eternal love that rises beyond death.
Have you discovered ways to connect with your loved ones and memories to soothe the pain of the loss?
Five Ways to Honor Your Father
Here are some ways to consider honoring your Father and remaining connected to him in your Heart:
❤ Time Together: Consider a favorite place you shared, a unique restaurant/food, or a favorite activity you did together. Maybe a Tiger’s baseball game?
❤Ask for Help: In the absence of their spouse, moms can feel overwhelmed while responding to their family’s childhood grief. Accept an invitation to celebrate with others. Share with your loved ones, so they know you could use some childhood grief support.
❤Dad Smiles: Do something that would have made your dad smile. Make a gratitude list of all you are grateful for about your dad and share it with your mom or other family members. Imagine Dad smiling over you. He is as present as you allow the memories of him to be.
❤Honor Dad: My dad, a WWII veteran, was proud to serve our country. I have walked in parades, donated money, and supported veterans in his memory. It is a beautiful way to do something good for another and heal your heart’s pain. If your dad was in the military, you could consider those holidays an opportunity to honor him.
❤Music Makes Magic: My dad loved to sing and play his favorite songs, and, of course, singing them is a perfect way to open your heart to connect with your father. Create a Daddy Playlist of songs your father loved.
Honor Father’s Day Without Ignoring Childhood Grief
What is essential on this day is to do it your way. Your dad is unique in your heart, and the expression of your love for him is uniquely your own. Allow space to experience that childhood grief while you honor his legacy, which is YOU!
Often the anticipation of these days is more difficult than the actual day. Share your ideas and be open to changing your plan. Talk about your feelings with friends and family if you need some grief support.
There is no one correct way to celebrate and honor his death; your father will always hold a place in your heart. Free yourself from expectations, judgment, or having to “get it right.” What is right is the eternal love that remains a source of connection to your father. Explore ways to honor your relationship and be kind to yourself as you maneuver through what is new.
💔Above all else, remind yourself that it’s just one day, and then it will be over. You can learn from how you get through the day this year, knowing you can do it differently the next time.
Find Lasting Support at Henry Ford SandCastles
SandCastles Grief Support Program offers support and childhood grief resources to help children and teens learn how to grieve and cope with their loss constructively and healthily. Join us today.